Teaching a 3 year old independence???

One thing you don't do is mess with my children and do them wrong.  I turn into momma-bear protecting her cubs.  I'm learning to be better about it, but this instinctive nature will never change.

Miss Tori, at 3 years old, has moved on up to the Pre-K class at her pre-school.  They have these little blue cots that they use at nap time.  These cots are a plastic mesh and they do not look pleasant to sleep on (hot and makes kids sweat).  To eliminate this problem, I have sent a crib sheet with her everyday for the past 3 years and it fits on the cot nicely.


Tori told me on Monday that she didn't get to have her sheet.  I mistakenly "assumed" that she did not get her sheet because the teachers did not know about it - nope, they knew.  

So I was going to ask the teacher about it when I dropped her off on Tuesday, but she was holding a classmate who was new to the pre-school world and was screaming at the top of his lungs for his mommy.  I elected not to try to speak to her, because I didn't figure she could hear me anyway.  I mentioned to the assistant director that I would appreciate it if she would make sure they know that Tori has a sheet.  It didn't get conveyed to the teacher the way I meant it.  

So on Wednesday morning when I dropped Tori off, she catches me and say, "I hear you have an issue with Tori not being given her sheet."  Then she proceeds to tell me the "if she can't do it herself you need to find something else for her to use."  This makes me a little mad and I decide it's best not to reply and think on this for a while.

In the other classroom she has been in, the teacher has put her sheet on her cot while she is eating lunch.  This new classroom insist that the kids do it themselves, to teach them independence.  Here is my issue with this.... she was given her sheet on Monday, the first day in the new class, and told if she couldn't do it by herself then she couldn't have it.  How is that TEACHING independence?  Seems more like a sink-or-swim philosophy to me.  If you have never attempted a task, how can you be expected to do it independently?  I can't even get Alex, who is 13, to put his sheets on his bed without a major battle and he's been shown numerous times.



This morning I explained to the teacher that a child cannot be independent in a task unless they are taught to do the task.  I took 10 minutes out of my morning to teach Tori how to put the sheet on her cot.  By the third try, she had it down - mostly.  The teacher said she didn't realize that it was so important to me for Tori to have her sheet.  I told her that it was and that she might need help, but that she should catch on quickly how to do it herself.  She apologized and said she is still learning what each child can and cannot do.


Now, other thoughts raced through my head.  The first being - I researched daycares, childcare centers, learning centers, and pre-schools to find the one that TAUGHT children and didn't just let them play in chaos all day long.  This was a decision I did not make lightly.  I liked that this pre-school used a well known curriculum.  I've been happy with the fact that she knows her letters, numbers, colors, days of the week, months of the year, planets in the solar system, can recite the Pledge, etc.  Therefore, I expect some teaching to go on here in all aspects.  The second being - I pay you people a lot of money, so I think you can help her learn to be the "independent sheet putting on child" that you want her to be.


Hopefully Tori will get to have her sheet on her cot today at nap time.