My choice??

At least several times over the past 2 or so years, when I've said things such as, "Being a single mom is hard," someone has replied, "You CHOSE this."  Seriously??  This is not the life I had planned out in my head when I was 18 years old.  But this is my life.  I will continue to make the best of it.  Never in a million years would I have guessed this is where I would be.

While it is true that I chose to end a marriage, those people do not know the circumstances that led to that decision.  That decision (both times I made it) took months, if not longer, to make.  Weighing the possible outcomes of staying and leaving.  It was not a decision I ever took lightly.

Did I want my children to grow up living the way we were?  Did I want my children to learn that the way we were living was "normal"?  Did I want my children to seek out similar relationships when they choose a spouse?  I know that the answers to each of those questions is a definite "NO".

So I made the best decision for my children and myself at that time.  If you think you have the right to judge me, there is nothing I can do to stop you.  I sure hope no one comes along to inspect your life.  You might not like what they have to say.

Lots of people know some of what I've been through.  A few people know more.  I doubt anyone, except me, knows all of it.

I can't even say that I would change the worst parts of it, because that would also change some of the best parts.  It would change everything about the person I am today.

So, I teach my children that you can be strong no matter the circumstances.  I teach them that life is what you make it.  I show them that I can take care of them, work, and go to school.  I teach them that without GOD none of this is possible and without GOD I'd be hopelessly stuck where I was, without a way out.  I'm not saying that GOD is in favor of divorce, but I don't think he would condone me leaving my children in the situation either.

So I guess in the simplest of terms I did choose to be a single mom, but it was never my plan.